Для этого заведения, очень хочется матом ругаться, поэтому буду по-английски What a pleasure to be able to review a Novikov restaurant. To be honest, this is the first one I’ve tried, and it fully confirmed my prejudices… First things first, what happens every time you go to a Moscow restaurant? That right! EVERYTHING IS NYETU! This time it was the pelmeni. Having not had Chinese for a while, I decided to take the Sweet and Sour Chicken. Can someone please explain why it costs 720 rubles!?!?!?!?!?!??! I ate it in 1.5 minutes and thought it was CRAP! I then proceeded to eat my girlfriend’s food (Christ knows what it was called), which took me an extra 55 seconds. Meal finished in 145 seconds—cost 3, 000 rubles. SATIFACTION ZERO. The stupid thing is, this place was busy! A couple sat down at the table nearby. I overheard them both ordering pelmeni—HA HA! Another table of loud, unruly idiots seemed really impressed by their meals! 10 points to this place for its screwing capabilities! Decided to make a point of this. Instead of going to the shaurma kiosk to fill up, went home and made sweet and sour pork. Bought the ingredients for a FRACTION of 720 rubles. Even though I’ve never cooked this before, I though it was BRILLIANT. Made so much, that I could barely walk after eating it! MY CHALLENGE: Next time you’re thinking of going to Beloe Sontse Pustyni (if that’s ever) THINK TWICE! Call me first. I promise I’ll cook what ever is on their menu, but 4 times the volume of food and 10 times as delicious. For 720 rubles, you'll get sweet and sour pork, fried rice, and a few beers. In addition, you’ll be dining in the comfort of my girlfriend’s modern flat, with your own choice of music, access to TV and everything will be “EST” and “MOZHNO” (not “NYETU” and “NELZYA”) If you want a more authentic experience (I mean closer to what you get in this restaurant), then you are welcome to dine at my place. Old, Soviet, shit apartment, with tasteless decorations, a 40-year old stove which is impossible to cook on, neighbours who scream while beating and stabbing each other… Enough said.
